


Sharing Sunsets

by librarian_of_velaris



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Best Friends to Lovers, But They Don't Realize It Yet, Cuddling & Snuggling, Cute, Developing Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Light Angst, Mutual Pining, Post-Canon, Sharing a Bed, a splash of angst, there's only one bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-04
Updated: 2018-09-04
Packaged: 2019-07-06 22:37:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15895536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/librarian_of_velaris/pseuds/librarian_of_velaris
Summary: Every night, Elain and Azriel watch the sunset together. When Azriel leaves for a mission, Elain starts to miss her friend. But when he returns for a night, she concocts a plan to make sure she won’t have to watch another sunset without Az by her side.





	Sharing Sunsets

Elain stared up at the sky, the setting sun casting shadows of gold onto the city of Velaris. She hadn’t always come to the balcony of the House of Wind to watch the sunset, but over the past few months, she found herself drawn there, watching the sun fall behind the mountains while she sat in the garden. There was something about the quiet—the peace—here, that she couldn’t find at the townhouse. Even the trek up the hundreds of stairs to the House of Wind, and then the climb to the balcony, was worth it. Every moment allowed her a bit of serenity, a calm that her current home would never afford her.

It wasn’t that she didn’t love it; she did, even if it had taken her some time. Being around her family, the Inner Circle, was fun, albeit busy. And loud. Put three Illyrians, Morrigan, and a newly-Fae Amren in a room together and there’s no such thing as quiet. Ever.

But she loved her family, both old and new. She just needed a break every now and again. It was part of why she loved to garden so much. And the reason for this nightly routine.

Before, she wouldn’t always be alone with the sunset. The first time she came up here, she found Azriel sitting in one of the lounge chairs, watching the purples and reds and oranges swirling through the sky. He hadn’t said much to her the first time aside from a quiet “hello” and “here, join me,” but over time they’d grown close, sharing secrets and stories on the balcony together. Az even flew her up most nights, saving her from the wretched stairs.

She loved those nights with Az. Loved being with him, talking with him. She would tell him of her human life, and in return he’d share a memory or two from his centuries-long existence. Even when the memories weren’t pleasant, he’d shared them, and she’d shared hers. He’d wipe her tears away, or pull her into a hug while she spoke of her experience in the Cauldron, and she’d hold his hand, rubbing her thumb over the top as he told her the cruelties of his childhood, of being locked up.

They had shared these moments for a year before Azriel was sent away on a mission for Rhys. The night that he told her he had to leave, silver lined his eyes. “I will miss these nights every day until I come home,” he said, pulling her into a tight hug. Elain asked when he would come home. He wasn’t sure, but hoped—prayed—it was soon. “If I could watch the sunsets beside you every night for the rest of my life, I would,” he whispered into her ear as they held one another.

Elain didn’t remember how long they’d stayed like that, her head on his shoulder, his arms and wings wrapped tightly around her. But when they finally pulled apart, the sun was rising, casting their embrace in shadows into the garden.

“I will think of you with every sunset I watch,” he vowed to her. And then he shot himself into the sky.

***

It had been two months since they shared their final sunset.

Elain missed him; their talks, their hugs. The longer he was gone, the more she felt as though a piece of her heart was missing and hollow. She wanted her best friend back.

Despite Azriel’s absence, she managed to catch the sunset every night from the top of the House of Wind, taking the staircase up. And up. And up.

It wasn’t  _not_ pleasant; she certainly didn’t mind the climb—most nights. But Elain still missed the ease of being flown up there, Azriel gently holding her as they soared through the sky. Sometimes he’d even fly them around Velaris, pointing out landmarks before finally landing on the balcony. Those were her favorite nights. He’d whisper in her ear, explaining the history of this theater or that library and she’d smile, grateful to have her own personal tour guide, as she’d tell him. Really, though, she was simply glad she had a friend such as him. Azriel was someone to talk to, someone she could trust. Elain didn’t have that luxury in her human life, so to have Azriel…she was lucky to have him, and she thanked the Mother every day for bringing him into her life.

Winter was on the horizon as Elain ascended the steps, the late Autumn chill seeping through her sweater, causing her to shiver. She hurried up, racing to make it in time. Nesta had kept her late talking about one of her new books—something about a bastard warrior and a princess, or a winged warrior and a queen? Honestly, Elain couldn’t remember. She was half listening while she tapped her foot, stared out the window, and anxiously watched the sky to make sure she wouldn’t be late. She hadn’t missed a sunset in nearly a year, and she wasn’t ready to start now.

Nesta stopped her droning right as the sun started to descend. If she hurried, Elain would make it right on time. So she ran up the steps as fast as she could.

She was gasping for air as she reached the top, but she made it, right on time. Taking a seat on a purple lounge chair—she held a certain fondness for it after the nights spent sharing it with Az—Elain watched the sun descend behind the mountains, casting whorls color into the sky and onto the city below.

Elain frowned. Velaris always had some of the most beautiful sunsets she’d ever seen, and tonight was no exception. But as day turned to night, all she could think of was how she wanted to share this night with Azriel, how he would have loved the way there was more purple in the sky than red, how he would have commented on the colorful shadows projected onto the city, how he would have picked her up and flown them through the sky…he would have loved tonight. And she would have given anything to spend it with him.

_I wish you were here, Az._

She turned to climb back down the stairs—a feat much easier, she found, than the climb up—but took one, final look to the sky.

The moon and stars illuminated the darkness but there was one spot it couldn’t light up, as though it were a shadow within the night sky itself.

And it was coming closer.

Elain could barely see whatever was coming towards her, but she tried—and refused to take her eyes off of the mass of darkness coming towards her. It entranced her, begging her to look closer, to see through the dark.

She squinted, trying to make out whatever was in the shadows.

_Shadows._

There was only one…

And then she saw it. The wings peeking out through the darkness, the blue siphons shining through the shadows as they grew closer.

_Azriel._

Elain couldn’t resist her smile as Azriel came towards the balcony, preparing to land. Before he even stepped foot onto the ground, she was running to him, crushing Azriel in a tight hug and kissing his cheek.

“I missed you too, Elain,” he said, smiling and stroking her hair a bit.

“I didn’t know you were coming home today, Az,” she said, still holding onto the Shadowsinger.

“It was last minute. I tried to make it by sunset, hoping you’d be here, but it seems I was a little late.”

Elain laughed. “It was beautiful tonight, you would have loved it.”

“I was surprised you were still here when I landed.”

“I…I stayed a little longer, tonight. To look at the stars.”

Azriel took her hand in his. “I’m glad that you did. I came home for you, after all.”

_You…what?_ “Me?”

“I missed you. I wanted to see you,” Az said smoothly, “so I came back. But, I haven’t eaten in ages. Care to join me for dinner?”

“I’d love to,” she said, letting him take her in his arms.

And then they were flying through Velaris.

Elain didn’t realize how much she’d missed Azriel, how badly her heart yearned for him, until he was home. Having him here, with her….it was like everything fell back into place. As though with him, she was exactly where she needed—wanted—to be.

Cauldron, she was happy to have him back.

They flew down to the townhouse, where Rhys and the Inner Circle were preparing dinner. Rhysand’s shock at Azriel’s entrance was enough for Elain to realize that Az hadn’t told anyone he was coming home.

Rhysand furrowed his brow. “I…didn’t expect to see you back so soon, Az.”

“Just stopping in. Business to attend to and all that,” he said with a wave of his hand.

“But you weren’t supposed to come home, were you, Azriel?” Amren asked, twirling a fork between her fingers, “that’s why Rhys is confused right now.”

“I am  _not_ —”

“Don’t lie to me, boy.”

The High Lord didn’t dare respond. Instead he turned back to Azriel. “Well, it’s nice to have you back, Az, and just in time for dinner.”

Azriel smiled. “Perfect timing.”

***

Dinner was calm, most of the conversation steering towards Azriel and his current mission. “I can’t talk much about it,” he said, “but I’ll have to leave tomorrow. I just stopped in for the night.”

Elain couldn’t hide her frown. How long until he came back? Would he visit, as he did tonight?

“Az…” she whispered, the name barely audible to the table.

And then she felt a rough, calloused hand interlacing his fingers with hers, squeezing gently. Azriel looked to her, as if to say,  _we’ll talk later._ Elain nodded.

She was quiet for the rest of the meal, lost in thought. She didn’t want to be separated from Azriel again—she couldn’t. When they were together…things felt whole. Right. She didn’t want to lose that—or him—again. So a plan formed in her mind; it would be a long shot, sure, but if Azriel agreed…she’d be able to remain with her friend.

***

Elain was the first to leave the table.

“I need to bathe before bed,” she claimed. An excuse, of course, but she couldn’t stand sitting at this table anymore. Not when she had to talk to Az, and he seemingly needed to speak with her, too.

Before she could stand up, though, Azriel pulled her towards him, quickly, and whispered.

“The roof of the townhouse. When you’re done.”

She nodded and went to her room.

***

Sitting in the bathtub, Elain wondered how, exactly, she could convince Azriel of her plan.  It wasn’t as though it was a bad one—dangerous, yes. Risky, without a doubt. But she liked her plan and thought it feasible, however seemingly ridiculous the Shadowsinger might find it. Hell, she knew what he would say about it, but if she could just figure out how to use that information…

Elain wouldn’t leave that balcony until he agreed with her.

With a confident smile, she stepped out of the bath, dressed, and made her way towards the balcony of the townhouse.

***

Azriel was waiting for her when she arrived and held out his hand. “Shall we?”

_What…?_

He seemed to nod and look down to his hand, as if to say,  _just take it._

She did.

“Now,” Az said, “it’s not wholly up to me, but I vote we head up to our usual spot. This place isn’t the same.”

Elain nodded. He had a fondness for their balcony too, it seemed. Azriel picked her up in a swift motion and shot into the air.

They reached the top of the House of Wind in record time. The wind whipped Elain’s hair in every direction, tangling and knotting it by the time they landed. Wind-swept elegance, it was not. Azriel, as per usual, looked fine. The epitome of classical elegance while Elain, on the other hand, worked to blow a piece of hair out of her face.

“Here, let me.” Azriel reached to move the hair out of her face. “There. Though it’s still tangled a bit…May I?”

Elain nodded and took a seat on the nearby chair. Azriel followed, taking a seat next to her, and got to work detangling. His hands, however scarred and calloused they were, were unbelievably gentle as he detangled her hair strand by strand. Any knot he found, he gently loosed and untangled, making sure not to hurt Elain one bit.

Wow, did she love Azriel touching her hair. Pulling on it slightly, running it through his hands. It felt  _wonderful_  as his hands worked their way down her long tresses. A sigh escaped her when Azriel went to undo a particularly tough knot, his rough hands feeling heavenly against her scalp, her hair.

“Everything alright, Elain?”

“Everything’s  _perfect_ ,” she replied, her words slightly slurred. Cauldron, she was comfortable. If she just…she could just lay down, right in Azriel’s arms, right here and now…

“Don’t fall asleep on me yet,” Az murmured, lifting her body off of his a little. It seemed that had, in fact, laid in his lap, her head on his chest, feeling the rise and fall of his breaths.

_But I’m so tired and you’re_ so  _comfy,_ Elain thought, her mind slowly drifting off and away.

“Elain.” He nudged her gently. “Elain, we still need to talk. Don’t fall asleep on me yet. You can sleep soon.”

She groaned as Azriel pushed her up and off of him. Heaving a deep breath, she faced him. “So, you wanted to talk?”

“I did.”

“What’s going on?” Elain asked with a yawn.

“I have to leave again. Tonight, probably. Tomorrow morning at the latest.”

“You said as much at dinner. ‘Just stopping in,’ right?”

“Right, but…”

“But what?”

“I didn’t—I didn’t come home because I had business here.” His voice had turned to a near-whisper.

“Why did you come home then, Az? Why would you?”

“Remember when I said I wanted to make it in time for the sunset?”

_Was he…did he…_

“I did want to catch the sunset, yes, but…mostly I missed you. I…wanted to see you.”

Elain stared at the Shadowsinger. There were no words. No words to describe how it felt to know that Azriel had come home for her. To  _see_ her, to watch the sunset.  _With her._

_Her._

“Plus, the sunsets where I was weren’t half as beautiful as the ones in Velaris. Not when I didn’t have you with me,” he continued, “so I figured I’d come home. I just wish I would’ve made it in time so we could’ve had tonight.”

“You’re here now, and that’s what’s important,” Elain replied, resting her head on his shoulder. Slowly, gently, Azriel wrapped his arms around her slight frame.

“I suppose it is,” he said, and kissed cheek.

Elain woke up the next morning in Azriel’s arms, the Shadowsinger still asleep.

This time, she nudged him awake.

“Az…Azriel,” she said while shaking his arm, “wake up. You’ll miss the sunrise.”

“El…what time is it?”

“Almost sunrise. Come on.”

Elain took a seat next to him, teeth chattering and body shivering. With Azriel’s arms wrapped around her all night, she hadn’t realized just how cold it was this morning. She missed his arms around her, his wings cocooning her…

And then a sea of warmth flooded through her, washing away the Autumn chill. Azriel’s arm had slipped over her shoulder, his wings wrapping them both to keep warm.

“Th—thank you,” she said as the shivering ceased.

He kissed her forehead. “Anytime, El.”

The sunrise was absolutely breathtaking. The sun drenched Velaris in a sea of gold as it rose, the rays dancing along the Sidra. If Azriel could stay, she would have asked him to watch the sunrises with her from now on.

But he had to leave.

She meant to speak with him last night, give him her plan, convince him to agree…but then he’d detangled her hair, and wrapped his arms around her, and she nearly forgot that he had to leave the next morning. It was time now, and she had to tell him.

“Az,” she said, turning to look at him.

“Yes?”

“I was wondering…”

Azriel’s voice went hard. “Absolutely not.”

“I didn’t even finish my sentence!”

“I know what you were going to say. You were going to ask to come with, weren’t you? To wherever I’m going?”

“I mean…not  _exactly_ that,” she muttered.

“Elain, it’s dangerous. I can’t risk you coming with me,” he said.

“I can take care of myself. I just…I don’t want to leave you, or, for you to leave me…again.”

“I don’t want it either, but Elain, if you were hurt…you mean everything to me. You’re  _my everything._ I don’t want to risk that. I don’t want  _you_ to risk it.”

_His everything?_

Certainly that meant his best friend, right?

_Right?_

Elain didn’t have time to think about it. She was going with Azriel. She just had to keep trying. Maybe if…

“Azriel. Please. I want to see the world. And I want to see it with  _you._ I missed you, Azriel. I want to spend time with you. Do things with  _you._  I’ll stay out of the way. I’ll be safe.  _Let me come with._ ”  

Az seemed to contemplate it for a moment. “I can’t, Elain. Your sisters would kill me.”

“My sisters would deal with it. You’re a Shadowsinger. The best Spymaster in Prythian. Not only could you keep me safe, you could show me the world. Show me what I’ve wished to see all my life.”

“But my mission, El. I can’t give that up to take you on vacation.”

“I’m not asking you to. I’m asking you to take me along so that I could see  _something._ I haven’t left Velaris since the war. Please, Az, I want to come with you.”

He paused. “You’ll stay safe? Hidden when I ask you to be?”

“Of course,” she vowed.

“We have to leave today, Elain. If you’re coming with, you need to pack a bag now. Leathers, armor, a few dresses. Only the essentials. I’ll get weapons. But you’re going to tell your sisters you’re coming with.”

“Deal,” she said, and he flew her back to the townhouse to pack.

***

Telling her sisters she was leaving to go on Azriel’s mission was no easy task. Feyre begged her not to go, claiming the risk was far too great and Az’s mission far too important. Nesta, though, went on a tirade:  _you could die! You could get caught! Elain, what are you thinking? You’re not supposed to be this irresponsible!_  These were simply a few of the words she’d exchanged with Elain, who calmly had said  _I’ll be with Azriel. He’ll keep me safe. Plus, I’ve been training with him and Cassian. I can protect myself._

Ultimately, Feyre and Nesta sighed, realizing they couldn’t convince her sister to stay home, and made her promise to send frequent letters. Weekly, ideally.

After an hour of goodbyes and be-safes, Elain met Azriel on the balcony of the Townhouse.

He lifted her into his arms. “Ready?”

“Always,” she said, “but I have one question.”

“Ask Away.”

“Where are we going, exactly?”

Azriel grinned. “To the Continent.”

***

The Continent was further away than she expected.

The first day, they flew through the sunset, pausing briefly to admire the view, after all, it was their tradition. They only stopped when they found an inn for the night, two bedrooms available. Elain was glad for the rest—and the bed.

“Be ready by sunrise,” Azriel told her before heading off to bed.

Sure enough, when morning came, Azriel knocked on her door an hour before sunrise.

“Azriel,” she groaned when she heard the knocking, “I have one more hour. Lemme—lemme…sleep.” Elain was dozing off.

“We need to move if we want to make it in time, El,” he said, “plus I wanted us to be able to fly through the sunrise. A new tradition, maybe. You can sleep while we fly.”

“Azrielllllll.”

“Don’t make me send my shadows in to wake you up,” he warned through the door.

“Gimme ten minutes please, I need a bath.”

It took her twenty minutes to get out of bed, and another twenty to get ready.

Azriel was waiting by the door when she stepped out. “That was forty minutes.” He clicked his tongue.

“In my defense, leathers are hard to put on!”

“Let’s go,” Azriel said in between laughs.

Soon, they were flying.

***

The first few weeks were the same. Fly all day, find an inn, eat, sleep, repeat. But as soon as they made it to the Continent, it became harder to find an inn. Towns were few and far between. And towns that welcomed Fae…those were even harder to find. The war might have been over, but the humans still harbored resentment towards the Fae of Prythian. It didn’t matter how cruel their own queens were, or how the Fae had sided with the humans. There were centuries of hatred towards the Fae, and it wasn’t exactly easy to convince them otherwise. Especially in these small towns at the edge of the Continent.

Occasionally, they’d have to make camp in the forest, Azriel creating shelters for each of them. It wasn’t ideal, but it was better than some of the towns they’d come across.

And been promptly run out of.

No matter where they were, though, Elain and Azriel always managed to watch the sunsets together. It was their nightly ritual—a reminder of home, of comfort, of…of each other.

“I’m glad I’m with you—going with you—on whatever this mission is,” Elain told him one night in the forest while they watched the sun dip below the horizon.

“I wouldn’t say that just yet.”

“Azriel.” She interlaced her fingers with his. “I’m happy to be here with you. No matter what. Though I am curious as to what, exactly, I’ve gotten into. You’ve only told me where we were going, and now we’ve arrived.”

He sighed. “I might as well tell you. Remember the human queens?”

Elain nodded.

“Well, they’re not exactly…playing nice.”

“Now  _that’s_ a nice way to put it.”

“My job is to see what—if anything—they’re planning.”

“And that’s dangerous?” Elain asked.

“Very. After the war, things grew quiet.”

“Too quiet.”

“Exactly, El. And we want to know why.”

“If I can help,” she said, “I will.”

“I know.”

“You’ll let me, right?”

Azriel squeezed her hand. “Of course I will. Of course.”

***

Luckily, they managed to spot a town with Fae lurking about. There were only a few, but…if this town welcomed Fae—even if they just tolerated them—that would be enough for the night. They were close to the Human Queens’s palace, now. Far enough that they wouldn’t be spotted—or risk exposure—but close enough so that they wouldn’t have to trek very far to get to the palace.

The town’s inn was located towards the center of the town, attached to the local tavern. It looked nice, better than the one Feyre and Rhys had stayed in, without a doubt. Elain would never forget how Feyre described the smells of the place, and she was glad this place was nothing like it.

The inn was quaint, a new layer of cream-colored paint adorning the outside panels, a porch, complete with a table and chairs invited guests to enjoy their mornings outside; it was a beautiful inn—much nicer than Elain was expecting.

“I think I saw a garden around the side of the building,” Azriel told her as they walked towards the entrance.

_A garden?_ “Do you mind if I…”

“I’ll go get us rooms,” Azriel said. “Go to the garden. I’ll meet you there when I’m done.”

Elain smiled and walked around the side of the inn.

She was expecting to find a meager, small garden, unkempt and filled with weeds—a garden in need of some love.

Her jaw dropped at the abundance of plants in front of her.

The garden was filled with greenery—bushes trimmed neatly, plants thriving, growing to great heights, and not a weed in sight. Flowers adorned the innermost section, a rainbow of colors filling her sights. And the smell— _oh, the smell_ —was like nothing she’d ever experienced before. The light aroma of flowers mixed with newly budding leaves…this was the garden she wanted to create back in Velaris.  _This_ was her inspiration.

She was admiring a daisy when Azriel snuck up behind her.

“It’s beautiful,” he breathed, startling Elain.

“Oh! I didn’t notice you come in,” she said, dropping the flower from her hands. Azriel picked it up, dusted it off a bit, and placed it in her hair.

“You could create something as beautiful as this, you know,” he started, admiring a nearby bush, “in Velaris. I know you have the garden at the House of Wind…but Elain, you could build something as grand as this, if you wanted to.”

She spoke without thinking. “I want to.”

“I’ll help. When we get back to Velaris, Elain, we’re building a garden.”

She gave him a soft smile. “But it has to have a beautiful view of the sunset.”

“Of course.”

“Do you have our rooms?”

Azriel quieted. “I’ve got good news and bad news.”

“Good news first,” Elain said, raising an eyebrow.

“They have a room.”

_Okay. We can deal with that._

“And the bad news?”

“There was only one room left.”

_Az. Her. Sharing…a room?_

“That’s okay,” she said.

“It’s getting late,” Azriel noted, and pointed to the tavern. “Dinner?”

***

If they had meant to keep a low profile, by the time dinner was over, every human—or Fae—in the tavern couldn’t keep their eyes off of the duo. Or, rather, Azriel. His wings, impossible to glamour, were tucked in tight, but still managed to attract the wide-eyed stares of customers. Sets of eyes swept over them while they ate, admiring the winged male with shadows swirling around him and the doe-eyed, beautiful female accompanying him.

It was quite annoying, actually. Azriel whispered as much to Elain while they were eating, trying to keep quiet and out of earshot.

“So much for a low profile,” Elain joked before popping a piece of bread into her mouth.

Azriel’s gaze was stern. “Let’s hope no one alerts the Queens.”

“They wouldn’t dare…”

“I’m not so sure. A winged male and a High Fae in town? That’s sure to raise some suspicion.”

“People pass through all the time though, right?” asked Elain.

“There are some Fae here, yes, but no one of noble birth. No High Fae. And judging by the stares…I’m not so sure they’ve seen an Illyrian before. Or anyone with  _these._ ” He nodded towards his wings.

“Then let’s finish up and head upstairs. Better not to attract attention, right?”

“I think it’s too late for that,” Azriel said and resumed his meal.

Finishing quickly, they dashed out of the tavern as quietly as they could and entered the inn, heading up the stairs to their room.

Azriel frowned when he turned the handle.

“I asked them if there were two beds and they told me there would be,” he told her, “but, ah, it looks like there’s only one.”

“Oh, well, I suppose—”

_We could share the bed_.

Azriel smiled at her. “You take it, Elain, I’ll sleep on the sofa.”

“I can’t make you do that, Az, just…you can share with me?”

“I—I can’t, Elain. It wouldn’t be proper.”

_But I want you to…_

Elain went quiet. “Your wings, though, they don’t fit on the sofa. You’d be terribly uncomfortable.”

“I’ll manage,” Azriel replied, flashing a grin, though Elain could see Azriel struggle spread his wings out, to relax.

“Well…if it gets uncomfortable, just tell me and we can switch,” Elain said, walking through the door and onto the bed.

_Cauldron,_ it was comfortable. She sunk into the mattress, groaning as her muscles relaxed and her eyes closed. After sleeping on the forest floor this bed was  _bliss_. She cracked her back, her neck…every joint loosened, every bit of tension in her body released while she stretched out, enjoying the vast expanse of the mattress below her.

She was asleep almost instantly.

And were it not for the cold, she would have remained asleep.

It was early morning when she woke up shivering, her body freezing despite the blankets hugged tight against her body. Pulling the blankets closer, she tried to bundle herself up to stop the shivering and the teeth chattering, but it was no use. It was nearly winter, and the Continent was cold—there was no magic here to keep the inns warm in this sort of weather.

Elain whimpered, the cold seeping into her bones, her body. Even before Prythian she’d never been this cold, in the winter she and her sisters would huddle together, a fire going in the corner, keeping them all warm—just barely, but it kept her from shivering.

_But if Az…_

Elain wished Azriel were next to her, holding her and wrapping his wings around her and keeping her warm while they—

Azriel’s voice, soft and heavy with sleep, called out to her. “Elain?”

“Y—yes?”

“You’re cold.” A statement.

“A lit—little b—bit,” she stuttered, teeth chattering.

“Can I help?”

_How…oh._ “Please,” she whimpered.

The bed creaked and warmth flooded her, erasing the cold as wings first wrapped around her, and then arms, pulling her close to him.

“Holy Mother, you’re cold,” he whispered, pulling her tighter to him, until their bodies were touching.

“But you’re  _warm,_ ” Elain exclaimed, turning until she could see his face and entwining their legs together, trying to steal the warmth from his body.

“Is this okay?” Azriel asked hesitantly.

“It’s  _perfect,_ ” she said, “I love it. I love…”

_You._

She said nothing, instead focusing on the warmth of his body. She chose not to focus on how close they were, how their noses were touching, how if she tilted her head just a bit she could place her lips on his and—

_Holy Mother._

Elain couldn’t—wouldn’t. He was still hung up on Mor, and she and Lucien hadn’t spoken in months, but here she was, wrapped in Azriel’s arms, the truth staring her right in the face.

_I’m in love with Azriel. Az. Shadowsinger._

_I cannot be in love with someone who loves somebody else._

_I shouldn’t be in love with him._

_But I am._

_I love him._

_I love our shared sunsets on the balcony, the way you hold me while we’re talking, the way we fall asleep on the balcony together, waking up for the sunrise and knowing that the next night we’ll be in each other’s arms, watching the sunset again._

_I love you, Azriel._

Azriel put his forehead to hers, his eyes narrowed. “Elain, is everything alright?”

_No, no it is not alright. I’m in love with you and I shouldn’t be and I know—_

“Elain?”

“Everything’s okay,” she said, voice tense, “I’m just…I’m tired.”

“Elain, you seem…talk to me, El, what’s going on?”

She shouldn’t—she couldn’t.

“Az, I…”

“Elain, Love, just—”

And then she was kissing him. It wasn’t a soft kiss, as most first kisses were. No, her lips crashed into his, needing and wanting and hoping that he would kiss her back. Azriel froze—but then he was kissing her, his lips parting for her.  _I want this,_ his kiss said, a promise and an invitation. Elain smiled against his lips.  _I want this, too. I need this._

_I love you._

She pulled him closer, her hands wrapping around his neck, moving through his hair…he groaned as she drew her fingers through his hair, down his neck, to his wings.

Elain wanted more, wanted to keep kissing him, wanting to show him just how much she loved him, how much she wanted this, wanted  _him,_ but Azriel pulled back, his breathing heavy.

“Elain,” he breathed, and placed a kiss on her forehead.

“Az,” she replied.

“I need to tell you something,” Azriel said, and took her hand, interlacing their fingers.

_No. No no no. This was a bad idea I shouldn’t have done this I’ve made the wrong—_

“I love you,” was all he said.

“You love me?”

“I’ve loved you since our first sunset,” he told her, “I’ve loved you since we started sharing stories. I’ve loved you with every sunset, every sunrise. I love you, Elain. I just wasn’t sure…”

“I’ve loved you since then, too,” she interrupted, “I don’t think I knew it, though. I definitely wasn’t ready to admit it. But I love you Az, I love you so much.”

He kissed her again.

And again.

Until he was peppering her with kisses on her forehead, her cheeks, her lips, whispering  _I love yous_ with every kiss.

“I wanted to tell you I loved you before I left for this mission, but…then you decided to come with me, and—”

Elain slapped his cheek gently. “I decided to come with you, Az, because I couldn’t stand the thought of you being away again. I wanted—I needed—to be near you, to be  _with you_.”

“Well,” he said, squeezing her hand, “I’m glad you did. I love you, El.”

“I love you, too.”

“We should probably get some sleep,” Az said, and started making idle strokes up and down her arm, eventually moving to her back.

Elain and Azriel exchanged whispered  _I love yous_ until they were asleep, bodies entwined together.

Elain awoke with a kiss and Azriel gently nudging her awake. “Good morning, Love. Care to watch the sunrise?”

“I would love to,” she replied and took his hand, letting him lead her outside.

“We should probably talk about the Queens,” Azriel said as they walked to the front porch.

“We should, yes. But first, the sunrise.”

“Of course, Love, of course.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I was thinking about making a multi-chaptered fic based on this, so if you'd be interested in that, let me know!
> 
> xoxo,
> 
> Zoe


End file.
